In the news

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Ladies, it's time to address the elephant in the room - or should I say, the house of windows on the beach! Yes, you heard that right, an entire house of windows was caught frolicking in the buff on a beach. 

Now, before you gasp in shock, let me tell you the whole story. Officer John Andrews discovered the naked windows after local residents started to complain. 

Upon questioning, the windows claimed to be from a house somewhere in Monmouth County, New Jersey, but they wouldn't reveal their exact location. 

So, they were given paper shades to cover themselves up and transported to the local detention center for further questioning. 

Now, I know what you're thinking - "What kind of homeowner lets their windows run amok on a beach?" 

Well, the homeowner Buddy ShouldaKnownBetter was contacted early Saturday morning after he reported his entire house of windows missing. 

You heard that right, the whole darn house! Luckily, the windows were released back to Buddy under the condition that he works with a professional to resolve this delicate matter. 

And that's where The Custom Curtain comes in! Don't be like Buddy, for happy windows, get your smile on and call The Custom Curtain. Trust me, you'll be glad you did. 

Now, fast forward to part two of the story, where the windows are finally being dressed appropriately. 

The windows were ecstatic with delight, draping themselves in luxurious fabrics and decorative hardware. They were finally getting the attention they deserved! 

As Andersen, the dramatic window on the back of the house chimed in, "When you walk through the front door, it's completely open and you see through to the back of the house. I want to look good up-close, but I need to be eye-catching from a distance. " I mean, who can blame him? 

When you've got it, flaunt it, right ladies? But it wasn't just Andersen who was getting the love and attention he deserved. Pella, the petite window over the kitchen sink, even wanted to coordinate with Andersen's fabric to "blend."(Rumor has it they might even be a couple, but I won't tell if you won't!) 

Now, in part three of the story, we see a quiet window speaking up during a counseling session, addressing Buddy ShouldaKnownBetter. " 

Don't you realize how important this is? We deserve to be dressed properly and with dignity. We're here to help you create the right atmosphere for any occasion, and we need you to believe in us. We're here for you." 

After this heart-to-heart, Buddy knew what he had to do. He had the windows carefully dressed in treatments that suited their personality and purpose. And let me tell you, they felt cared for and appreciated. 

"This was a great experience," said one beaming, stylish window. "Everyone made us feel special and important." 

So, ladies, let's make sure our windows feel just as special and important as we do. Happy windows make happy homes, and The Custom Curtain is here to make sure that happens. 

Don't let your windows run around naked on the beach - give them the love and attention they deserve. Join us in standing up for the treatment of naked windows and let's start a movement! 

Call today! 973-978-4414. You'll be glad you did.